


Bedbugs

by Liliace



Series: Spiderpool & Deadman [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Borderline crack, Friendship, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Humor, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 12:33:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7222462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liliace/pseuds/Liliace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Peter wanted to do was sleep. Nothing could be simple with Wade involved, though.</p><p>--</p><p>Heavily inspired by <a href="http://ruingaraf.tumblr.com/post/118133540359/alternative-bedsharing-fics-obviously-the">this</a> tumblr post</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bedbugs

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not used to writing Wade or Peter, so any kind of feedback would be appreciated. Also, this can be taken as either pre-slash or simply friendship. On that note, I hope you enjoy!

"Wade."

"Hmm?"

"I'm fine with your skin, like I've told you –"

"Aww, thanks Petey, but I'm actually fine right now so that's kinda –"

" – but I am _not_ fine with you sleeping naked."

Wade pouted. It really shouldn't have been as cute as it was – seriously, the guy looked like he had walked out of a horror movie – but damn if Peter knew what was going on in his brain anymore.

"But baby boy," Wade whined. "I always sleep naked."

"Somehow I highly doubt that," Peter deadpanned.

Sure, Wade probably slept naked sometimes, but Peter would bet good money that he usually in fact slept in his Deadpool suit – and Peter was struggling with money as it was.

Which made it annoying that Wade had taken his suit off now just to sleep, and not only in the same room as Peter, but in the same bed.

They were on an overnight mission in Washington, which meant that they had to find a place to sleep. Peter outright refused to camp on a roof or an alley somewhere, so they had decided to go to a motel instead.

Only, the closest one had just one room left; a room with a double bed. They were too tired to go find another place, so they accepted that one.

They were both adults, after all, and even of the same sex. Sharing a bed shouldn't be too horrible.

"The suit makes my skin itch," Wade pouted, and Peter stopped to consider that.

He wasn't sure about the extent the scars and sores and the overall condition of Wade's skin bothered Wade, but he was pretty sure it hurt. Wade had always been tightlipped about that, however, if not about anything else, so Peter didn't know if Wade was just playing him or not.

"Can't you at least leave the briefs on?" Peter sighed. Said briefs looked like they were made of pink silk, so surely they couldn't bother Wade too much.

"If it pleases thou," Wade said dramatically and dropped his hands from his waist.

Peter breathed a sigh of relief. Sleeping in the same bed as Wade was okay, but doing that while Wade was naked? That seemed a little bit too weird.

"Thank you," Peter said cordially, going to the bathroom to change into his pajamas, which actually consisted of just a t-shirt and boxers.

When he came back out, Wade was lying on the tiny couch, playing on his phone.

Well, if Wade wanted to stay up late, that was his choice. Peter at least wanted to be well rested for tomorrow's – possible – action.

"You going to sleep anytime soon?" Peter asked as he climbed on the bed.

Wade glanced at him, and put his phone away. "Just waited for you so you can turn off the lights."

Peter reached out to turn off the lamp on the nightstand and muttered a quiet good night.

"Good night, baby boy," Wade murmured in turn.

Only, he didn't get up. Peter waited in confusion for a while, wondering why Wade was still lying on the couch. When he heard the sounds of turning and moving about, but not footsteps, he couldn't contain his confusion any longer.

"Wade? You coming to bed any time soon?" he asked in the darkness.

All sounds of shifting stopped.

"Yeah, I heard it too," Wade muttered then, clearly speaking to himself. "A hallucination. Or maybe a dream."

"Wade?" Peter asked again, moving so he was leaning on his elbows.

"Sorry, Petey," Wade said cheerfully. "Just hallucinated for a moment there."

"Alright," Peter said, drawing the word out. "But are you coming to sleep or not?"

Wade didn't answer. Peter waited patiently, wondering why this was turning out to be so hard.

"What do you mean?" Wade eventually asked.

"Sleep," Peter said slowly. "Are you coming to bed so we can go to sleep? I don't know about you, but I certainly want to get some rest before tomorrow."

Wade was silent for a long while, and then his head popped over the back of the couch. He was staring at Peter, and Peter just lifted his eyebrows in question. Not that Wade could see it since he didn't have Peter's night vision.

"You mean," Wade said, tone baffled, "sleep on the bed? With you?"

Peter blinked. "Well, obviously. That couch is too small to sleep on, and the bed is plenty big enough. I figured we could just share it."

"No, he did say that," Wade muttered to himself again – or more likely, his voices. Then he cleared his throat and spoke to Peter again. "You sure about that, baby boy?"

"Yes," Peter said, again wondering what the big deal was. "We're both adults, and men, I don't see what the problem is."

After a moment, Wade jumped up and practically bounced to the bed. Peter could see the giant grin on the man's face, and wondered why sharing a bed seemed to be a huge thing for Wade.

Wade lifted up the covers and then burrowed under them, shifting close to Peter and putting his arms around him.

"Wade," Peter said patiently, "sharing a bed doesn't equal cuddling. Or holding onto each other. Or any kind of – well, physical contact."

Immediately, Wade let go and moved to his side of the bed, muttering an apology as he went.

Peter hoped he hadn't offended Wade. Or made him feel insecure about any of the things Wade so often was insecure about. Maybe he should explain himself.

"I like my space as I sleep," Peter said, turning to his side so he was facing Wade. Then, hesitantly, he reached out and brushed his hand against Wade's shoulder, leaving it there for a few moments.

Wade stiffened as Peter touched him, but he also turned his face towards Peter and shot him a quick smile. Crisis averted.

There was silence for a while, and Peter evened out his breathing and tried to go to sleep.

Then: "Do you think pigeons have feelings?"

"What?" Peter asked, nonplussed.

"I mean, everyone always calls them rats with wings and they're largely hated – also, do you think rats have feelings? Everyone really hates them, at least the sewer rats, the ones at the stores people seem to actually like, which is weird because I don't see how they're different – except the store ones have less diseases, naturally –"

"Wade," Peter interrupted. "Go to sleep."

Wade fell silent again. Peter sighed in relief and turned to his other side, facing away from his bedmate now.

He was right at the edge of awareness and sleep when the whole bed creaked as Wade turned. Peter breathed out slowly and forced his tired brain back to nothingness. Then, the bed creaked again. And again. And again.

Peter snapped his eyes open.

"Wade," he said quietly, but no less warning for it. "Stop. Turning."

"Sorry, Petey," Wade muttered.

Peter closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep again. This time, he didn't even get to the border of sleep before Wade disturbed him.

"What about snakes, then? They're super clever, though that doesn't necessarily mean that they have feelings – dolphins, they're clever too, and they might feel stuff – which makes it awful that we keep them in those small places and use them for our amusement, doesn't it? Whales, too, and pretty much all circus animals. Hey, did you know, I sometimes wondered if I should join a circus? You know, one of those ones with freaks and stuff? I'd have fit right in. But then I figured that killing is basically my calling, and mercenary work pays way better anyway, and –"

Peter tried to ignore it. He really did. It just wasn't easy to go to sleep when there was nonstop chattering right next to his ear.

"Wade," he said more strongly this time. "I'm trying to sleep."

"Sorry," Wade whispered after a moment, and then shut up.

Peter stayed in full awareness for a moment, wondering if Wade was going to start talking again. But no, he actually seemed to be staying quiet this time.

Breathing a mental sigh of relief, Peter closed his eyes and actually went to sleep.

Only to wake up soon after – he didn't feel like he had gotten any sleep at all – to the sound of someone snoring.

Would it be rude to throw someone out the window when said someone wouldn't suffer any permanent injuries from it?

But no, Peter couldn't do that. He was a hero, and heroes didn't hurt people, or defenestrate them.

He tried to fall back asleep, but that was impossible next to that awful, loud noise. He pulled the pillow over his ears, but that did nothing.

Peter turned to stare at the ceiling, trying to get used to the noise. He counted seconds, then minutes, and when he got to half an hour, he growled in frustration.

Turning Wade sideways might work, right? Some people only snored in certain positions, so maybe Wade only snored when sleeping on his back. It was worth a try, at least, so Peter carefully turned towards Wade and laid his hands against Wade's arm, thinking to pull him towards himself.

Only, Wade woke up and blinked in confusion, hand very obviously going for a gun that wasn't there. Luckily Wade recognized Peter – or remembered where he was – before he could go for hand to hand combat.

Peter wondered if Wade was just a light sleeper, or if people touching his skin hurt him that much.

"Petey?" Wade asked groggily, and Peter hastily pulled his hands back.

"You were snoring," he explained.

"Oh," Wade said. "Sorry."

And that was the end of it. Wade turned to his side, away from Peter, and appeared to go back to sleep. Peter also turned his back to Wade and luckily managed to fall asleep again.

Next time he woke up because it was cold. Now, the motel room hadn't been very warm to begin with, but it was alright under the blanket – only Peter wasn't under the blanket anymore, and after glancing around in confusion, he noticed that Wade had hogged the covers.

God. This was turning out to be a very long night.

Carefully, trying not to wake Wade, Peter took hold of the covers and pulled them back towards himself. They refused to budge, so Peter pulled on the blanket more strongly. When they still didn't move, he investigated and noticed that Wade was basically laying on top of half of it.

Trying to move Wade before had woken the man, so that was out. Peter was also pretty sure that the room didn't have extra blankets, and there was no one at the reception this late so he couldn't go ask for one.

This left him with three options: get a towel from the bathroom and try to get warm under it, burrow close to Wade – as in, lean into him – and hope that the blanket would reach Peter then, or wake Wade.

It wasn't a difficult choice at all.

"Wade," Peter called out loudly. He would have poked him, but refrained on the off chance that Wade's skin really was super sensitive to touch.

"What, Petey?" Wade muttered, Peter's voice clearly enough to wake him.

"You're hogging the covers," Peter accused.

"But they're so soft," Wade mumbled. "Well, softer than the sheet at least."

Peter considered that for a moment. Wade was basically wrapped in the blanket like a burrito, and if it really was because that was easier on his skin than the bedsheet… Peter wasn't one to do things out of pity, but common courtesy? Yeah, that he did.

"Can you at least let me under them?" Peter sighed. He just wanted to sleep.

Wade turned to look at him, his expression quite shocked. Peter only blinked at him tiredly, and then Wade lifted the edge of the blanket and Peter shifted closer.

It was warm. Both the blanket and Wade were warm, and Peter couldn't help but sigh in satisfaction as he settled right next to Wade, the blanket only just covering his back.

They weren't quite touching, but there was only an inch or so between them. Peter wondered if it would be alright to shift closer, but Wade solved that problem by shifting closer himself. Clearly Peter's t-shirt and boxers were soft enough that they didn't bother Wade.

Wade's skin didn't bother Peter, either; it felt kinda weird against his own, but not in a gross or a negative way. Just different. Sleeping so close to each other also wasn't awkward either; Peter was comfortable enough in his own skin and sexuality that it didn't bother him in the least.

"G'night," Peter murmured.

"Good night, baby boy," Wade whispered back.

Then, blissful obliviousness.

Until –

"What about seagulls?"

Would it really be that bad to throw Wade out the window?


End file.
